Discussion:
Piss on the French
(too old to reply)
mrskippy
2003-08-14 08:28:44 UTC
Permalink
An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the
bathroom something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find
any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side
streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London
police officer showed up.

"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked.

"I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta go."

"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass,
pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.

"Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."

The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started urinating
on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the
officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?"

"No," retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."
waggg
2003-08-14 16:38:26 UTC
Permalink
~~~ A Collection of Platitudes uttered by George W. Bush ~~~

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
....George W. Bush, Jr.

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
child."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same
distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures
where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that
means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in
this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live
in this century."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that
one word is 'to be prepared'."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in
the future."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"The future will be better tomorrow."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/21/97

" People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and
have a tremendous impact on history."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr. to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a
firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"Public speaking is very easy."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr. to reporters in 10/9

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican"
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
polls."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA,my
answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The
rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are
to blame.
....George W. Bush, Jr.

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having
it."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
..Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/5/93


"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our
children."
...Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 9/18/95
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George
Bush may or may not make."
...Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on
the mistakes we may or may not have made."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.


"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are
focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men
and women, women who will see service to our country as a great
privilege and who will not stain the house."-Des Moines Register
debate, Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job
is underestimating."-U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

"You've heard Al Gore say he invented the internet.
Well, if he was so smart, why do all the addresses begin with "W"?"
--10-28-00 Headline News - Mimi

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
-Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood
with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear
statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."-Speaking about Saddam
Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002

"I think the American people-I hope the American-I don't think, let
me-I hope the American people trust me."-Washington, D.C., Dec. 18,
2002

"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing,
we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more
secure."-Crawford, Texas, May 3, 2003

"It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left
here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion
and their belief in freedom, helped change America."-Dakar, Senegal,
July 8, 2003

[...]

George W. Bush
==
"We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized
Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons -- the very weapons the
dictator tells us he does not have."
George Bush
February 8, 2003

We know where they are. They are in the area around Tikrit and
Baghdad.
Donald Rumsfeld
March 30, 2003

Obviously the administration intends to publicize all the weapons of
mass destruction U.S. forces find -- and there will be plenty.
Neocon scholar Robert Kagan
April 9, 2003

I think you have always heard, and you continue to hear from
officials, a measure of high confidence that, indeed, the weapons of
mass destruction will be found.
Ari Fleischer
April 10, 2003

We are learning more as we interrogate or have discussions with Iraqi
scientists and people within the Iraqi structure, that perhaps he
destroyed some, perhaps he dispersed some. And so we will find them.
George Bush
April 24, 2003

They may have had time to destroy them, and I don't know the answer.
Donald Rumsfeld
May 27, 2003

For bureaucratic reasons, we settled on one issue, weapons of mass
destruction (as justification for invading Iraq) because it was the
one reason everyone could agree on.
Paul Wolfowitz
May 28, 2003

If you didn't know reality overcomes fiction, you're welcome here ;)
We've some more....
unknown
2003-08-14 18:48:48 UTC
Permalink
"waggg" <***@ic.al> wrote in message news:***@news.free.fr...
<boring cut and paste snipped, no one was going to read it anyway)

Hey Waggy, when are you going to realise that the only thing funnier
than anti French jokes, is your pathetic attempt at a comeback?
Citoyen de la République
2003-08-14 23:24:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by unknown
<boring cut and paste snipped, no one was going to read it anyway)
Hey Waggy, when are you going to realise that the only thing funnier
than anti French jokes, is your pathetic attempt at a comeback?
Tu te trompes, un idiot lorsqu'il croit faire une bonne blague, reste un
idiot.
T'en es pas un toi au moins ?
C de la R
unknown
2003-08-15 06:40:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Citoyen de la République
Post by unknown
<boring cut and paste snipped, no one was going to read it anyway)
Hey Waggy, when are you going to realise that the only thing funnier
than anti French jokes, is your pathetic attempt at a comeback?
Tu te trompes, un idiot lorsqu'il croit faire une bonne blague, reste un
idiot.
T'en es pas un toi au moins ?
C de la R
Babelfish makes such a mess of the translation that I'm unsure
whether I was being insulted or not, so please post in English, the
same goes for Waggy.
Citoyen de la République
2003-08-16 00:21:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by unknown
Post by Citoyen de la République
Post by unknown
<boring cut and paste snipped, no one was going to read it anyway)
Hey Waggy, when are you going to realise that the only thing funnier
than anti French jokes, is your pathetic attempt at a comeback?
Tu te trompes, un idiot lorsqu'il croit faire une bonne blague, reste un
idiot.
T'en es pas un toi au moins ?
C de la R
Babelfish makes such a mess of the translation that I'm unsure
whether I was being insulted or not, so please post in English, the
same goes for Waggy.
Je te comprends en anglais. Et je m'exprime en français.
Je ne te demande pas d'écrire en français.
C de la R
SeeSchloss
2003-08-16 09:20:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by unknown
Babelfish makes such a mess of the translation that I'm unsure
whether I was being insulted or not, so please post in English, the
same goes for Waggy.
lol quel abruti, est-ce qu'on te demande d'écrire en Français ?
unknown
2003-08-16 10:05:49 UTC
Permalink
Post by SeeSchloss
Post by unknown
Babelfish makes such a mess of the translation that I'm unsure
whether I was being insulted or not, so please post in English, the
same goes for Waggy.
lol quel abruti, est-ce qu'on te demande d'écrire en Français ?
Is this a group for the French to jabber amongst themselves or an
English speaking group provided for the amusement of those
fortunate enough to not be French?
Now if your state schooling wasn't up to the task of teaching you
adequate English to hold some semblance of a conversation, then
I'll understand your reluctance, but please make an effort.
SeeSchloss
2003-08-16 20:42:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by unknown
Post by SeeSchloss
lol quel abruti, est-ce qu'on te demande d'écrire en Français ?
Is this a group for the French to jabber amongst themselves or an
English speaking group provided for the amusement of those
fortunate enough to not be French?
Ben je dirais entre les deux, c'est plutôt pour l'amusement de ceux
qui ont été assez chanceux pour être en même temps Français et pas
Américains (ces deux qualités sont une chance immense). Ca permet
aussi d'évaluer le niveau intellectuel de l'Américain moyen.
Post by unknown
Now if your state schooling wasn't up to the task of teaching you
adequate English to hold some semblance of a conversation, then
I'll understand your reluctance, but please make an effort.
Well, school succeeded to teach me a few languages, whereas I assume
yours barely taught you english...
unknown
2003-08-17 09:27:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by SeeSchloss
Post by unknown
Post by SeeSchloss
lol quel abruti, est-ce qu'on te demande d'écrire en Français ?
Is this a group for the French to jabber amongst themselves or an
English speaking group provided for the amusement of those
fortunate enough to not be French?
Ben je dirais entre les deux, c'est plutôt pour l'amusement de ceux
qui ont été assez chanceux pour être en même temps Français et pas
Américains (ces deux qualités sont une chance immense). Ca permet
aussi d'évaluer le niveau intellectuel de l'Américain moyen.
Unintelligible foreign babble, please translate as I can't be bothered.
Post by SeeSchloss
Post by unknown
Now if your state schooling wasn't up to the task of teaching you
adequate English to hold some semblance of a conversation, then
I'll understand your reluctance, but please make an effort.
Well, school succeeded to teach me a few languages, whereas I
assume yours barely taught you english...
You're rather quick to make assumptions, should I also assume you
are a snivelling coward with personal hygiene issues? or perhaps we could
start again (in English) :)
SeeSchloss
2003-08-17 16:15:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by unknown
Unintelligible foreign babble, please translate as I
can't be bothered.
I thought it would have been simple enough for babefish.
Post by unknown
You're rather quick to make assumptions,
But I can, since it won't do harm to anyone. Of course, it would be
different if I declared a war based on an assumption.
Post by unknown
should I also assume you
are a snivelling coward with personal hygiene issues?
I thought you were already assuming that ?
Post by unknown
or perhaps we could
start again (in English) :)
English ? I'm not sure, French is far easier to understand and much
more subtle...
Damnyankee
2003-08-18 02:37:13 UTC
Permalink
I will make this real simple in english, "FUCK OFF"
--
My Favorite Quote:
"There's still room for some rough-edged crusties like myself -- just a
little rebellious and not quite housebroke."
--Trace Adkins
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